Giving ourselves grace.

Ok, friend. As always, I’m so excited to dive into this next exploration with you.

Let’s start with this: Do you ever let the fact that you can’t do something as ideally or perfectly as you’d like keep you from doing the thing at all?

This time I don’t mean “perfect” as in your skill or ability (we explored that one last September here)… Rather, I mean in terms of circumstances, environment, preferences, & conditions. As in, the conditions aren’t as perfect or ideal as you’d like, so you don’t do it at all.

Do you ever find yourself constructing that sort of barrier for yourself?

For example, I LOVE to walk in the woods. Dirt trails through the trees are my JAM. But going to the woods requires more travel time, feeling safe going alone or coordinating with another, and (ideally) decent trail conditions (not too flooded, snowy, overgrown, or buggy), etc. So for a LONG time, I let my preference for walking in the woods (in those ideal conditions) keep me from going for a walk at all. About 2 years ago, I decided I wanted to start a morning walk routine to be able to get morning sunlight in my eyes (good for circadian rhythm, mitochondria function, alertness, focus, and more). To start the habit, I HAD to get my “ideal walk” preferences out of my way for walking to fit into my current schedule. Instead of taking 2 hours to drive to my favorite trail, hike it, and drive home, I started taking quick little 15-30 min. walks in my neighborhood. Was it my favorite scenery or terrain? Nope. But….. I’m DOING IT, baby! I lowered the bar, got out of my own way, and now I absolutely love these little morning walks. The movement, fresh air, sunshine, and quiet time are sooooo nourishing. But for YEARS. I let the fact that I preferred walking in the woods be a barrier to walking. Isn’t that interesting?

Do you ever do that, friend?

Do you ever keep yourself from doing the thing you want/like to do because you won’t be able to do it in your favorite/ideal/perfect conditions?

Are any of your preferences getting in your way?

Or here’s another example… I LOVE diving into creative work projects for hours at a time. BUT —oh my goodness— in this chapter of life, multiple HOURS in a row to sit and focus and work are more challenging for me to make happen. Some years I would really let that preference become a barrier. One of my solutions was to not go along to some activities with Jon and Rowan so that I could stay home and have a large chunk of time to work. But, although I was very happily creative & productive, I would find myself feeling like I was missing out on little family adventures. On the flip side, if I was spending time with my family, I wanted to ideally be 100% present with them (not working). But that meant it was verrrrrrry hard to find any time to devote to work. And oh how I want BOTH —my family & AYA— in my life! Nowadays I give myself grace and allow myself to be perfectly imperfect at both roles. These days, I’ll be typing away on my laptop while Jon drives us to our adventure. Or I’ll set up my computer at the bike jump park so that I can work on creating a Facebook reel and hear when Rowan says “Mom, watch THIS!” Am I in the environment that is easiest for me to focus in? Nope. Am I 100% present as a Mom? Nope. I’m doing both roles quite imperfectly. But I’m giving myself grace. And, friend, that grace feels soooooooo much better than the rigid preferences, expectations, and barriers I had constructed before.

And that grace, my friend, is what this week is all about.

If there’s one thing I’ve noticed over the years, it’s that there’s soooooooooo much I wanna DO! I don’t want my preferences for perfect conditions or perfectperformance to get in the way of doing all the things! So, these days, I’m practicing letting myself do it all— even if that means doing it all quite imperfectly.

How about you, friend? Does any of this resonate at all? Want to join me this week in practicing giving ourselves this kind of grace? We’ll let the conditions (and ourselves) be imperfect and DO THE THING anyway.

Here are some examples for how one might play with this….

• Want to exercise, but ugh it’s getting late so you’ll only be able to do half the workout you want to do? What if you do it anyway?

• Want to do the Zoom Aya class, but your kiddos might also need your attention during that time? What if you join in it anyway and bounce back and forth?

• Want to go for that walk, but it’s a little hotter than you like? What if you take those first steps anyway?

• Want to practice watercolor painting, pick up your guitar, or read that book, but you only have a few minutes? What if you do it anyway?

• Want to snuggle on the couch with your loved one but the dishes need to be done? What if you cozy up for a little bit anyway?

• Want to sign up for that online course, but you know that you’ll only be able to work on it really late at night? What if you take the leap anyway?

• Planned to try a new thing, but your friend isn’t able to go with you after all? What if you dive in and try it out anyway?

• Want to take your kiddo to the waterpark, but you wish the weather were warmer? What if you go anyway?

• Want to cook nutritious meals, but you didn’t get to the store? What if you whip something together anyway?

• Planning to go camping, but the forecast predicts a little rain? What if you go anyway?

• Want to start an important conversation, but know you’re going to fumble through it? What if you start the conversation anyway?

• Want to write that book, but don’t have the hours each day you think it is going to take? What if you begin it anyway?

• Want to do ___________ but ___________ isn’t ideal? What if you do it anyway?

• Other ideas? ________________________

Ahhhhh…. doesn’t taking the pressure of perfection off feel sooooooooo goooooooood?

Ok, my friend. Thoughts? Anything come to mind? Where, how, or when might this practice be helpful this week? What ideal conditions might you allow to NOT be a barrier? When can you give yourself the grace to do the thing you want to do, even if it means doing it imperfectly?

How might you get out of your own way?

And then (bonus points for this one): what does that sensation of giving yourself grace feel like? What do you notice/sense in your body when you take the pressure off?

As always, can’t wait to hear… See you on the dance floor!

With love,

💛 Dani