Permission to feel joy.

Is it ok to feel joy?

Ooof. This is something I don't think gets talked about nearly enough in the worlds of personal growth, transformation, and self-care. Let's talk about it.

Do you ever feel like maybe it's not ok for you to be so... happy?

Like: how dare you be so joyful, light, and free?

When there is so much hardship across the world? Difficulty? Struggle? Poverty? War? Suffering? Or when the people near you are experiencing difficulty? When your friends or loved ones are anxious? Depressed? Struggling? Unhappy? Addicted? Grieving? 

The big question: Is it OK to feel joy when others are suffering?

Thoughts?

I've thought about this a lot over the past 20 years.

I always come back to the same answer: yes. Not only is it ok to feel joy. But it is essential.

That JOY is what makes me happy to be alive. It's what fuels me. It uplifts me. It ignites me. It helps me help others. It helps me get through the hard times. To want to get through the hard times. 

But that said, it hasn't always been easy for me to show my joy.

Joy can sometimes feel... lonely.

This exploration is inspired by something mentioned at the end of class last week. We were talking about how fun it is to be playful. And one friend mentioned something along the lines of how sometimes she feels worried about being perceived as too fun... too joyful... too happy.

And oof.... I've been thinking about that a lot. 

I can relate. I remember early on (2004) when I first started dancing again. I started connecting with and embracing JOY regularly. I was making big changes in myself and my life. I went from always being stressed and unhappy (and out of alignment with myself) to feeling really truly happy and joyful. Often. 

And I remember feeling kind of lonely within it.

I remember wishing more people around me could feel joyful too. I was often surrounded by people who were unhappy, stressed, and struggling. 

I felt guilty for being happy.

I felt like I needed to hide how great things were going.

I felt like my happiness didn't belong.

Like...Who am I to get to be so happy?

Who do I think I am?

And I don't think this part of personal growth & life transformation gets talked about enough. The part where the new you sometimes doesn't feel like it fits in your older environment, surroundings, friends, or family. 

Or how it can at least be uncomfortable at times to let your new joyful, happy, centered, peaceful self shine through in environments where people knew you differently.

Thoughts? Can you relate?

Do you ever feel like you need to hide or hold back your joy?

Do you ever feel like you need to hide or hold back the newest version of you?

Misery loves company.

Humans sometimes like to bond through mutual escape, mutual misery, or mutual rebellion. I think the sense of the "new you" not fitting in socially anymore can be obvious when you've decided to abstain from something like drinking, smoking, drugs, etc. It can be challenging to hang around friends who drink when you are wanting to be sober. 

But I think this can happen with more subtle social habits as well. Like when the culture of a friend-group or work-environment involves everyone getting together and gossiping, or complaining about work, politics, relationships, etc. What do you do when you no longer want to do that, but that's how your social circle habitually connects?

Or what if you are focusing on changing other health-related habits? Perhaps your eating habits? Or exercise habits? Or other wellness & stress management habits? But perhaps you fear that the people around you won't like those changes? 

Do you have to abandon the social circle? Maybe yes? Maybe no? Maybe for a while? Is there a way you can help shift the culture of the group? Maybe it involves being the one who changes the subject, or suggests a new activity to try.

Or maybe it's time to expand your circle of social support and meet new friends? 

What has worked for you?

Joy loves company too.

Not sure who to share your newer, healthier, more joyful self with?

We're here for you, babe. 🙋‍♀️

Come dance for JOY. Come feel wildly alive. Come be healthy and peaceful and free. With us!!! Come PLAY. Come take responsibility for your choices, health, and wellbeing. Come aim upward with us. Come expand your circle of support. Come learn and grow and inspire others to do the same. Keep nourishing, nurturing, and bringing forth your best self.

We'll learn with and from you all along the way.

We'll celebrate your sobriety.

We'll cheer you on towards your goals.

We'll be happy for you when you reach them.

You don't have to do this life thing alone. And your joy is absolutely welcome here all along the way.

And, in terms of your other friends & family...

You just might be surprised. They might really LOVE your joyful self too. 

As I changed over the years from a very stressed, unhappy, victim-y, complain-y me to a very happy, joyful, peaceful, excited me, the hardest people to be my new self around was --get this-- my family. Especially my mom and my sister.

They had seen my very worst self (the most) over the years. They were who I felt the most vulnerable showing my soft, vulnerable, joyful underbelly. I could show strangers these parts of me more easily. But the people who have known me all along? Would they believe this was the real me? Would they laugh about my dreams of doing this somatic dance thing? Would they judge me? Could I let down my guard with them and show them this tender me? What would they think?

I had those fears for years. But it turns out: they like the joyful me! I'm sure I'm MUCH more pleasant to be around! :)

You may be surprised too. Your friends and family might be happy to be around the newer happier, healthier, more peaceful, joyful you.

Either way, we're definitely here for you.

Which brings us to this week's focus... 

One thing I'm so very grateful for, is that Aya is definitely a place where you have FULL PERMISSION to be and express your brightest, most joyful, happiest self.

You never need to hold back or hide your joy from us. And that permission is what we're going to focus on sensing, exploring, and celebrating this week. 

The big question: what happens if we grant ourselves full permission to feel joy?

What if we don't hold any of it back? 

Yep. Unleash it, baby.

Not only will we tolerate your joy shining through... we will celebrate it!

Your joy is so incredibly beautiful to see. Your sharing it with us as you dance uplifts and inspires us!

You don't ever need to hold back your joyful essence with us. Joy is medicine! JOY is LIFE! Connecting regularly with joy is what makes it easier to get through hard times. And your joy is beautiful. Glorious. We will be happy for you.

So go ahead, babe. Connect with your joy. Be blissfully alive. Be your happiest self (even if just for the hour). Let it light you up and fuel you forward. 

As you can see, you definitely have OUR permission. But what about you?

Can you give yourself permission to feel (unbridled) joy?

To shine.

To be bright.

To be happy.

To celebrate LIFE!

To have fun.

To be free.

To be a light that shows others what is possible.

Maybe even just for this week?

Or just for a day?

An hour?

When you do: How does it feel?

As always, I can't wait to see what we discover together this week. See you soon!

Much love,💛 Dani

P.S. All that said, please know: there is nooooo pressure to always be feeling joyful and happy when you come to dance. In Aya, all of your feelings are welcome. Come however you authentically are on any given day. We will be excited to see you no matter what.