Exploring our needs for routine & novelty.

Hello, beautiful soul!

Friend, I cannot WAIT to dive into this focus with you this week. I've been thinking about this one since halfway through our vacation.

Rachelle asked me if our trip was relaxing. My answer was something like: "No, not at all. Not even a little bit." :-)

Now, don't get me wrong. We had an AMAZING trip. I absolutely LOVED it. But we went hard. Full on adventure mode. All week long. We wanted to see as much as possible. We hiked to remote beaches, trekked through the rainforest, swam in waterfalls, the boys surfed, we drove along precarious 4WD roads... etc... 

It was glorious > >

And.... exhausting.

(In the most wonderful kind of way.)

By day 9, I was fried. Not just sunburned (that too). We had two days to go, but I needed a break -- some time and space to relax. I wanted a soft couch. Or comfy bed. I had been on high-alert for 9 days. Traveling to a new location, not knowing the terrain, not knowing the language very well, doing adventurous things (surfing, trekking), with potentially dangerous flora and fauna nearby. For example, we came across a puma, a caiman, a coral snake, etc. while out hiking, and there were threats of other snakes, sharks, crocodiles, sting rays, etc. where we were exploring.

My nervous system had been on high-alert for 9 days straight. I needed to shift gears. I was craving routine and relaxation. I wanted to do something familiar. And easy. I wanted to rest in one of my comfy habits. I wanted to stop adventuring and just lie down and read a book. 

And that craving was what got me really thinking about this focus. It reminded me of something I read in a parenting book years ago: that two (of many) key needs of children are: 1) novelty (yes, yay for adventures!), and ---also important--- 2) routine.

We had been experiencing 9 days straight of novelty, and my nervous system was craving familiarity/routine. And those two needs are exactly what we're going to explore this week. 

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Here are a few questions to get us started:

1) What do you sense in your body when you are experiencing novelty, surprise, or what's unknown/unfamiliar? 

2) What do you sense in your body when you are experiencing something familiar, habitual, routine, or known?

3) How much time do you spend in novelty, spontaneity, surprise, or adventure?

4) How much time do you spend in routine, ritual, scheduled, predictable time?

What do you think, friend?

Do you have preferred amounts of the two? 

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As I've been thinking about this, I've noticed how incredibly important these two needs are within our family. And how, Jon, Rowan, and I each have different levels of these needs, and different ways we meet them.

For example, I am a queen of routine. I lovvvvve schedules, order, predictability, habits, to do lists, etc. I love my habitual morning routines, self-induced daytime schedules, homeschool to-do lists, and evening routines. I enjoythem very much. More on that next week. :)

My husband, on the other hand? He thrives with much more freedom, excitement, surprise, and novelty. As a firefighter, he LOVES having noooooo idea what his work day is going to involve. His days off? He loves them wide open. I'm pretty sure he could live the way we spent our Costa Rica trip: non-stop exploration, adventure, and bursts of adrenaline.

How about you, friend?

Thoughts?

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Isn't it so interesting to think about?

Here are some more ways we might ponder this:

• Do you lean one way or the other? Or hang out in the middle?

• If it were a spectrum, where would your ideal range be?

• Do you ever find yourself craving more familiarity/routine?

• Or more novelty/spontaneity?

• What do those cravings feel like? What do you sense in your body?

• How do you respond to those cravings?

• How do you meet your needs?

• What are your "go to's" for more novelty?

• How about for more familiarity?

• How about your loved ones, family, friends, co-workers?

• Are their needs the same as yours? Or how are they different?

• How about in different aspects of your life? For example, work vs home.

• Do your needs for each change throughout the year/seasons?

• Do different people in your life help you connect with different needs?

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So how will we dance with this? So many ways! :)You see, every Aya class itself is a blend of familiar and new.For example, things that are known:

• We'll gather in a circle.

• I'll share a focus for us to explore.

• We'll bow in gratitude.

• We'll dance to 10-15 songs, many of which will become somewhat familiar over time.

• We'll sense our body.

• We'll explore something.

• We'll move in all kinds of ways.

• We'll dance simple patterns together.

• We'll have little bursts of free-form bliss.

• We'll flow, "hi-yah!," jazz square, and sing.

• We'll settle into 'dessert.'

• We'll come back together in a circle.

• We'll have time and space to share anything we sensed.

• We'll bow in gratitude again, and say farewell.

And, at the same time, there's so much that's a surprise:

• Who will be there?

• What will the focus be this week?

• What songs will we dance to?

• Will there be any new songs/choreography today?

• How will I move my body today?

• What will I sense?

• Or feel?

• Or see?

• Or hear?

• What will we discover within ourselves?

• What might we share afterward?

This week as we do all of the above, we'll explore 2 main questions:

• What do we sense when we're experiencing familiar?

• What do we sense when we're experiencing new?

And here's something really cool: We can even sense BOTH in a single song. A brand new song, can soon---within minutes!--- become familiar. For example, the intro begins. Whoa--brand new sounds. The first verse? Totally new. The moves? New. The chorus? New. But then something magical happens. The second verse? It's more familiar. The moves? More familiar. The chorus comes back. More familiar. At some point, the bridge hits: BOOM! New sounds, still different moves. Exciting! And then... ahhhh... Verse three, the sounds and moves are more familiar still. But the time the final chorus comes in, we're singing along. :)

I mean, how neat is that?

Ok, friend. That's what we're playing with this week. As always, I can't WAIT to see what we discover. See you soon!

Much love,

💛 Dani