Giving ourselves space.

Ooh friend… this is going to be another delicious one….  

Whereas last week was about giving ourselves (and life) grace, this week is about giving ourselves space.

Last week we explored things like embracing the messiness… the grey in-between… the need for multitasking sometimes… and how it feels in our body to remove the pressure of “perfect” circumstances, outcomes, or performance.

Oh man— it felt soooooooooo gooooooood!

This week, we’re giving ourselves the gift of space.

• Space to think…

• Space to move…

• Space to ponder, be curious, imagine, daydream, or plan…

• Space to tune in… check in… feel whatever you feel…

• Space to receive inspiration, ideas, or insight…

• Space to connect…

• Space to play…

• Space to work…

• Space to really enjoy whatever it is you’re doing…

• Space to savor the food you’re eating, or the drink you’re drinking…

• Space to do nothing…

• Space to sleep… to rest… to pause… to recharge…

• Space to just be…

• Space to ________ (anything come to mind for you?)

Oh man, this list already has my spirit singing “Yesss! Please! THIS!”

How about you, friend? Are you craving more spaciousness too?

This focus is inspired by an experience I had a couple of weeks ago that I’d love to share with you…

Last week I mentioned how I’ve been learning to relax my expectations of myself. Instead of always choosing between family-time or work-time, I’ve been embracing a messy mix of the two for the past two years or so. For example, I might be working away on my laptop while we drive to wherever we are going together that day. It’s messy, and “imperfect” perhaps, but in this chapter of our lives, it seems to be a really good fit for us.

That said, I want to share the flip-side of that example too… because, well, if a practice isn’t full of paradox or contradiction... is it even real? :)

A few weeks ago, we attended a 4-day soccer tournament in Minneapolis. I made sure I had my Sunday Aya email typed and ready to go before we left town, then we headed off to the twin cities (laptop-free). Being laptop-free was such a gift! I had four days where, even if I suddenly wanted to or had time to, I really couldn’t do any Aya work. Even though my to do list is 100% self-imposed, it can sometimes still feel really urgent simply because there is soooooo much I want to do. So many ideas… inspirations… events I’d love to offer… ways I could be communicating about Aya… ways I could improve everything… But here I was in Minneapolis for 4 days, and I couldn’t do any of it. My mental load was—-POOF—-just quiet for a few days. There was just… space. Space to be totally present at the soccer tournament. Space to go with the flow of whatever my family wanted to be doing all weekend long. Space to meet up and hangout with other families. Space to relax, connect, and chat. Space to stare out the window or play the ukulele on the drive (rather than work on my laptop).

And —-although I still very much want to embrace the messiness of multitasking like we discussed last week——that space was also reallydelicious. So delicious, I immediately thought to myself “this could totally be a focus for us to explore!”

So that, my friend, is what we’re up to this week: giving ourselves the gift of space.

For example, it might just be a few minutes of space to sit and really enjoy your coffee. Or perhaps it’s going for a walk without a podcast playing in order to give yourself more space to think your own thoughts (or not think any thoughts). It could be driving across town without the radio on, in order to gift your nervous system a bit more quiet. Maybe it’s enjoying a few minutes where you just pause & breathe. Maybe it’s time & space to dance a song, journal a few thoughts, or check in with your feelings. It might be allowing yourself to just wait in the waiting room without scrolling. Perhaps it’s allowing yourself to go to bed earlier & give your body more space to wind down and rest. Maybe it’s gifting yourself the space to savor whatever you’re eating or drinking. Or leaving more white space in your calendar to rest or be spontaneous this week. Maybe it’s as simple as silencing your phone (or removing notifications) in order to have space to focus more deeply on whatever you’re working on. Maybe it’s giving yourself some time to just move and sense and be in your body today.

Thoughts, friend? How might you want to gift yourself a little more space this week?

Another way I’ve been giving myself more space is related to my phone usage. This past year, I caught myself doing two things I really didn’t like:

1) Reflexively opening up apps. I’d grab my phone to read a text, and 30 minutes later find myself totally sucked into scrolling an app that I reflexively opened. Oy.

2). Hiding my scrolling. We’re pretty strict about Rowan’s screen time limit—we want him to have plenty of time and space to play, create, socialize, get fresh air, and move his body. Yet, sometimes I find I’m not practicing that myself. This became most obvious when I started catching myself sneaking away to go scroll or suddenly (guiltily) putting down my phone when Rowan entered the room. Eek. That’s when I knew I had (once again) become too addicted.

One thing that has REALLY helped me to create more space lately is to delete the apps I find most addictive/reflexive from my phone. For example, I love Facebook and X… But I don’t want to spend too much of my one wild and precious life scrolling feeds. Deleting these apps from my phone has really helped me create more space. I can still access both apps through my computer, but I do so much more intentionally (and sparingly). I’ve only had them deleted for a few weeks, but —oh man— life feels so much more spacious without them!

Thoughts? How about you, friend? Does this focus resonate at all? Are you craving more spaciousness in any aspect of your life? Any ideas popping up for how you might create more spaciousness this week?

As always, I can’t wait to hear and see what we discover together. See you SOON!

With love,

💛 Dani