Listening to Pain & Pleasure

Hi there, beautiful soul!

This week in Aya, we’re going to be exploring the notions of Pain & Pleasure. 

But first, let’s pause for a moment —what comes up for you when you hear those words? What’s your relationship like with Pain? With Pleasure?

We’re often taught to erase Pain—to numb it, stop it, make it disappear. If you’re in pain, something must be wrong with you. Oof. No wonder we avoid it at all costs.

And then there’s Pleasure. Too often, it’s reduced to something only sexual. But what if it’s so much more?

What if Pain and Pleasure are actually wonderful allies?

What if they are wise guides? The whispers, cautions, and nudges of our closest, dearest friend? The one who knows us better than we do, and wants the absolute best for us? 

What might your Pain & Pleasure be trying to tell you?

To explore this, we can think of Pain and Pleasure as two voices of our body.

Pain whispers (or sometimes hollers), “Something’s off! Pay attention!” It’s the ache in your knees or tightness in your jaw—a signal from your body to pause and care.

Pleasure, on the other hand, sings, “Yes, more of this!” It’s the flow of movement, the joy of a rhythm that feels just right—guiding you toward what nourishes and enlivens you.

Together, they both guide us—Pain toward healing, Pleasure toward aliveness. 

But here’s the thing: to hear their guidance, we have to tune in. And sometimes, that’s not easy.

Many paths lead to disconnection—stress, trauma, and numbing behaviors can dull our body awareness, making it harder to tune in. I know disconnection well. After 13 years of battling my body with anorexia and bulimia, by 25, I couldn’t feel a thing.

The good news? No matter your past—you can heal.

I spent years believing my eating disorders would be with me forever—but that’s a lie. You can heal your relationship with your body/self. I now have a completely different relationship with my body. Myself. My life. And it is filled with soooo much joy, peace, love, connection, creativity, purpose, and inspiration! In my experience, it just takes practice.

What helped me to heal and reconnect? Tuning in — and learning to listen — to my body sensations.

This is what Aya is all about, friend. Coming home to your body. 

It’s why we sense our feet, our skin, our spine, and more as we dance. Your body sensations are not only where the present moment is. They are where your truth is. Where your inner knowing is. Where your joy is. Where your bliss is. Where your hope is.

And… it’s also where your pain is. 

As you wake up those sleepy nerve endings, you might feel the stiffness you’ve ignored, the tension you’ve carried. The heartbreak you’ve hidden away. It’s not there to punish, annoy, or frustrate you. It’s your body saying “oh, thank goodness… I’ve been trying to reach you for so long.” 

That ache in your hip, that heaviness in your heart—it’s your first step toward healing. Sway, breathe, let it move. Listen.

Many years ago, I happened across a quote along the lines of “It’s the victims who cry out. Not the assailants.” The book was talking about how we relate to pain, and how tempting it is to blame and get frustrated with the body part that is in pain. But what if that body part is really the “victim” in need of our help? Such a powerful reframe! Experiencing pain can be frustrating—especially chronic pain. But what if pain isn’t the enemy? What if it’s a distress signal? What's crying out for help?

So… instead of getting frustrated, what can we do?

Approach Pain with gentleness and curiosity.

What’s it trying to tell you? Is there an imbalance? A change needed? Then it’s time to experiment. Explore. Try things out. Move gently with curiosity. What can you do to help? Make little tweaks. Perhaps try a smaller step. Perhaps a larger one. Perhaps engage your abdomen. Or soften it. You don’t need to have a cognitive reason for “why.” Simply tune in and explore. Experiment. Tweak. Shake. Flow. Bounce. Roll. All the while, keep sensing and stay curious. What helps?

The best news? Tuning in not only helps you to decrease your pain, it also makes way for Pleasure. As you listen to your body, suddenly you can experience the bliss of your arms swinging freely, the lightness of your feet. The freedom of your heart splashing wide open. The surge of joy as you connect with the beat. Movement is pleasurable. Generative. Nourishing. Pleasure’s the body’s voice saying, “Yes, keep going. More of that please.” It’s alignment. Ease. Bliss. Yes!

The key for accessing pleasure? Tuning in. Sensing your body. Being open to feeling how you feel. Being open to both the pleasure and the pain. Being open to the whole spectrum of your aliveness.

Thoughts? Does any of this resonate?

Ready to try it? No need to wait for class. Simply close your eyes, and sway a little. What’s your body saying? Where’s Pain asking for attention? Where’s Pleasure calling you to linger? If you’ve been away from your body, this is your invitation home. Pain might greet you first, but Pleasure’s waiting there too, ready to remind you how wonderful it is to be alive.  

Alright, friend. That’s what we’re playing with this week. We’ll dance, sense our body, and listen to both Pain and Pleasure as our wise, loving, guides to aliveness. As always, I can’t wait to see what we discover. See you on the dance floor!

Much love,

💛 Dani

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